I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
