I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
