I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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