her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
