HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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