eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
