Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
