Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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