what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
