And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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