I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Vodka?
Forever.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
