I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
