its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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