I wanna bring you to show and tell
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
