but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
