I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
