Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
