You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
