My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
