You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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