we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
