I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
