Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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