What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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