The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
