It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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