i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
