so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My vagina just clenched in fear
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
