i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
