Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
