Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Holy sore nipples Batman
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
