we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Come share oat with me in your robe
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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