A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
