She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
