I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
