at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
