I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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