yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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