i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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