Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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