Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
