i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
