Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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