Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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