I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
