Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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