I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
