OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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