The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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