I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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